When it rains it pours.

"Les Chuchoteuses" (the whisperers) by Rose-Aimée Bélanger

My mom came for a visit last week, which was wonderful. It was such a nice break from reality, and she spoiled us rotten. We visited a lot of touristy places, like the delicious Schwartz's and St. Viateur bagel, and we also discovered that the best burgers on earth are at L'Amère à Boire on St. Denis.

We also walked around old Montreal, shopping and eating poutine. We saw this lovely statue by Rose-Aimée Bélanger, had some great lattes, and enjoyed the beautiful weather.

We've been really lucky, it's been warm and sunny here, a definitely plus as Adam and I don't drive. It's been warm enough for me to ride around on my cruiser, and I'm dreading the day when I have to store her for the winter.

 We had kind of a traumatic week after my mom left. Adam began having tooth pain in one of his molars, and it got to the point where he was unable to sleep or function. After going to a terrible dentist who was diagnosing him based on a price sheet without looking into his mouth at all, we decided to go to the Montreal General Hospital in the Dental department. They have students working there who are doing their practicum, so it is much more reasonably priced. They recommended that Adam either get a root canal or get his tooth pulled, and since we don't have coverage, we had to go for the latter. I felt terrible that we couldn't afford to get him the best treatment, but it was the best we could do.

I also found out that a part-time job I had decided to short-change me on my paycheque. According to my friend Chris, that isn't uncommon in Montreal. I'm obviously looking into it, and will take action to get my full earnings, but it is infuriating that I have to work so hard to get what I already worked for. With Adam's dental fiasco, and with this paycheque mishap, we're very concerned about paying our bills. (surprise, surprise)

Adam found out that he is most likely not getting time off for Christmas, so that's the icing on the cake.

When I moved to Montreal, I knew it was going to be difficult, challenging, and it would push me to step outside my comfort zone. What I didn't realize is that I wouldn't get the chance to prove myself. It is extremely competitive here for jobs, and I know that if I was given the opportunity for an interview I would impress the employer.
Unfortunately, it seems that employers here are bent on using you, the positions I really want won't give me the time of day, and once you have a bad streak of luck, it sticks to you like a parasite.

Don't Let The Darkness Eat You Up

Good news! Adam has a job. He's working at a place called Le Fromentier. It's a bakery/patisserie/cheese shop. He's making a lot of croissants, breads, and puff pastry desserts. He really likes it so far, and since it is french, he's strengthening his language skills. It's been a huge relief for us. He works Mon-Friday 11-7, so we even have weekends off together.

Since Adam is back at work, I'm at home alone all day. It's been a bit difficult for me, but I've been given a chance to be creative and to spend some time alone to reflect. Today I went for a walk in the misty rain around our neighbourhood, and had a really nice time saying goodbye to the fall. My favourite season is autumn, and we had a really beautiful one in Montreal. Everything was so colourful and vibrant. On my walk I observed that everything is now looking fairly grey and dead. I was listening to the Album Leaf, and then to Jose Gonzales, and the weather and music was really in sync with my outlook. I wasn't feeling depressed or angry or anything, but kind of realized that I've been so apathetic lately that I haven't allowed myself to feel anything at all. I've been wearing emotional armor to protect myself from job rejection, from boredom, from driving myself insane with my own thoughts. Instead of letting myself get emotionally invested in anything, I've been watching Oprah and Dr. Phil. I think it was survival instinct kicking in, preventing me from being consumed with worry over our finances and situation. I guess I was letting the darkness eat me up.

Anyway, I feel more like my old self now. I've decided that I need to keep working creatively even though I am unemployed, and I'm going to start working on a project. I've been wanting to write a book for a long time, and I have an idea for a story. Even if I don't end up finishing it, it will be good for me to start working on a project that I have complete control over. 

One song from Jose Gonzales really struck me today on my walk. I would urge you to check it out if you have a chance:

Halloween!

Halloween came and went this year with little excitement in our home. Usually we make a big deal out of it by hosting a party and dressing up. This year we didn't even dress up, and I had to work at a snooty mall for rich people where no one was dressed up at all, not even the kids!
We did go to our friend Margot's place to watch Rocky Horror and to eat some spooky treats. That was nice.
Unfortunately on the way there I was almost mugged at the Saint-Laurent metro station. A couple weeks ago a man was brutally beaten up there, and was in critical condition in the hospital afterwards. Scary. This group of young guys were hovering around outside, where I was waiting for a bus after taking the metro, and they started yelling things at me while coming towards me quickly. I started running to get inside the metro station, and they grabbed another guy who was also trying to get inside. They grabbed his coat off of his back and took it. It was very scary. I reported the incident to the metro attendant, who called the police. I hope they punish those jerks. I was so scared afterwards and will think twice about taking the bus alone at night!

I've been working at a muffin shop at a mall for weekends the past month, but I've decided I can't go back there. Working for minimum wage at a job that kills me, isn't at all in my field, and takes me an hour just to get there isn't worth it. So, I'm still on the lookout for something else...even if that means a crap job at a closer location. I've been seeing a career counselor at YES Montreal (Youth Employment Services) and he's been giving me some really good tips. I'm hoping they pay off soon. I also went to a job fair, and I think I impressed the lady at the McGill table. She said someone would be calling me soon, and we're hoping and praying this happens.

Adam has quit his job a Moishes. They wanted him to commit to at least a year, and he didn't have the heart to lie to them as he was actively looking for other work. He didn't love working there, and they didn't pay enough, so he didn't want to stay any way. We're both a bit scared that we've been here for two months and still don't have employment, and our resources are totally gone. It's a bit scary, and we're wondering if we made a huge mistake coming here. We're still trying to keep up hope, and I think things will be better once I start my French classes in January.

We're thinking we're too nice for this city. People pay you nothing and expect the world from you, and we're too nice to lie and be dishonest to employers. Adam has worked at countless restaurants for "trial runs" for free... he is sick of working and not being paid for his hard work. I'm almost wondering if employers try out new cooks on a regular basis just to have someone do the work no one else wants to do. There are certainly enough unemployed people in Montreal to exploit. How sad.

My mom is coming for a visit on Nov. 10th. I'm so excited to have her here. I know she'll be a huge encouragement, and it'll be a lot of fun.